This No Shame November, join Karina as she discusses her personal experiences, and how she was able to transform shame into power.
#NoShameNovember, I actually don't know how to start. Pero sige, I will start by a story time.
So I was a teenager when I learned to please myself. Am I ashamed of myself doing that? No. But was I ashamed of people knowing I was doing that. BIG YES. We are very religious country and I have a semi-conservative family (lol) so doing such thing is really something that I should keep as a secret. Teenager pa lang ako, I overthink a lot, hirap makatulog. Unconsciously, doing it really helped me to sleep and lessen my anxiety attacks.
So few years later, when I became an adult, I became sexually active. Again, am I ashamed of myself doing that? No. But was I ashamed of people knowing I was doing that. ANOTHER BIG YES. Reason? Same thing.
So since I am an adult, the shame goes bigger. Kasi usually may adult talks na talaga.
"Virgin ka dapat hanggang ikasal ka"
"Kadiri mga babaeng nagsasarili, I can't imagine myself doing that"
Actually dun nga sa isang pinagworkan ko, nung nalaman may boyfriend ako. Sabe nya "Wala na to, may boyfriend to. Di na to virgin"
Sinabi nya yon without me telling if sexually active ba ko or what. And people are smiling when he said that. Nahiya ako sa sarili ko that time, I feel disgust. "Madumi na akong babae."
So after that, I keep denying na sexually active ako. I don't want to join conversations about sex.
To make the story short, only people I trust knows that I am sexually active. Until frisky tap me for their campaign last august. Actually super hesitate pa ko magjoin, sabe ko pa nga I can't post on my IG. (Pero pinost ko pa din!🤣) Kasi I am scared that people may judge me, laugh at me, and I'll disgust myself again. (Pucha naiiyak ako habang nagttype) pero sabe No, maybe this is the start. Doing it is NORMAL, I shouldn't be ashamed or feel guilty about it. Everything is just a society and misogynistic standard. Lalaki nga pag nag gaganun okay lang e, babae, kadiri agad?! 😡🤣 And up until today, since the campaign di na ko nagstop to educate people about that. People can laugh or make jokes about it but I DON'T CARE.
Let's normalize to do normal things to our normal bodies. Let's end this FUCKING STIGMA.